How to create a breakdown :-p

First of all let me make it clear that I am neither an Introduction Leader, a Seminar Leader much less a Forum Leader. I discuss the work and the technology as a participant and a graduate of the Curriculum for Living. Having said that, let me share about breakdowns.

Breakdowns need to be distinguished, and then declared. A lot of times when something happens and I don't take what I get (I resist what's so), I don't experience it as a breakdown. For example: I woke up late this morning and procrastinate going to work. Two hours later I procrastinate some more (I have a very flexible schedule today). I end up leaving for work much later in the afternoon and although I can be at work and work on things I planned to work on, I missed my opportunity to meet people that my work has an impact on, as well as people who can and do have an impact on my work. And that's just what happened.

What I make it mean is there's something wrong with me: "I'm lazy. I procrastinate and graduates of the Curriculum for Living don't procrastinate. And I'm making myself wrong for this which means I'm running a racket against myself. Better myself than against others because that's worse. Now my workday is screwed. I should have just called in sick and not have gone to work. Wait, that would be inauthentic. I'd just hate to be a veritable buffet table of inauthenticity heading into the weekend. I suck. Life sucks."

Against the background of my possibility (Victory! Freedom! Love!) that internal conversation I just had disempowers me tremendously.

Wax On/Wax Off

What is my intention? Create results aligned with my possibility of Victory (get some work done, align my schedule for next week). Arriving at the office at 6:00PM is not consistent with that intention. The probable almost certain future is that those results are not going to happen. What happened is that I was late and the work is incomplete. Let me just take what I got.

Now I can declare a breakdown.